My Perfect Dog, well....

She's not so perfect after all. So I was on the computer on Jigzone (which if you haven't tried it, you should) and I heard odd noises coming from the living room. They were too loud to be the cats, and the fish don't generally make noise, so it must be Ruby. But I was trying to beat the average time for the puzzle I picked, which was of some green birds and I don't really like birds anyway, but I digress. So I kept doing my green bird puzzle because God forbid I should not beat the average time and I'm hearing lots of noise that sounds very wrong, but I'm also feeling sorry for myself because it snowed about 10 inches here and I kept taking Ruby out to play in it and I actually had to shovel out my car so dammit, I deserve to do the green bird puzzle and beat the average time. Well, I finished it and I beat the average time by over 2 minutes! (I'm so awesome) I decide I'd better check on the ruckus. The trash that I forgot to take out was opened up and Ruby was eating the bones from some chicken wings that my daughter and her boyfriend ate over here last weekend when they were babysitting Rue. So not only was Ruby eating bones that are terrible for her and she could choke on, but they were old and rancid as well because I'm an idiot. She has never, ever gotten into the trash before. Then again I don't usually have rancid wing bones in there- I'm sure it was beyond tempting for her. Vomiting and/or diarrhea should commence about 3 a.m. I'll keep you posted!

But I so beat the average time on the green birds puzzle!

She Doesn't Look Like a Monster

But Ruby knows she really is! Look how sweet Harley looks. At any moment she'll jump down, run through the house and eat inappropriate things. Then for good measure she'll actually try to play with Ruby. The audacity of hope!!!!

New Camera!

So I got a new camera for Christmas (thanks Mom and Dad!). These pics of Ruby and Vivi are some of my first batch. There are more that I am going to post on my website because I've taken quite a few over the last couple of days.

Ruby Continues to Get Cuter

I know, it didn't seem possible. But she does!

Merry Christmas from Satine

Even though I'm not in the Christmas spirit, apparently Satine is. So here's her holiday card!

My Year of...

My good friend Sarah, who is wonderful in every way, had me cracking up yesterday because she decided on a theme for herself for next year- The Year of Making. She has pledged to make a new crafty item each week and a new food item also. I admire this, I truly do. But I find it hilarious that first of all she would bleeping make a theme for her life and second of all that she tried to rope me into it with her. She tried to convince me that I would have The Year of Baking, which I certainly don't need, nor do I have any desire to bake every week of next year. But I did think of my own theme to go along with her- The Year of Faking. And I've already got several items lined up for my agenda. I plan to fake:

-liking people

-being smarter than I am

-being interested in the things people tell me

-being good at crafts

-learning a foreign language

I mean, look, it's not even 2009 and I have 5 weeks planned out already. I think it's going to be a good year. If anyone has any suggestions for things I should fake next year please let me know. Now remember, I only have 52 weeks, so it can't be lots of things. This will take some work.

The cat in the picture is Sarah's cat, Loki. He is awesome and I don't have to fake liking him at all! I will keep you all updated next year on how both Sarah and I do with our special themes.

Canadian Hut

I have been formulating a plan for awhile now to move to a hut in Canada for a variety of reasons, chief among them most of the human population drives me nuts. I wanted it to be in a remote location and I planned to take Ruby, Satine, Vivi, Pamela Anderson and Carmen Electra. Ruby likes the cold weather, so I thought Canada would be a good place. I had even planned to plant a garden in the summer. And I don't even like to plant stuff. A bad thing happened on Sunday night that caused me to change my mind. I watched the finale of The Amazing Race(way to go, Nick and Star!) and then I changed the channel because I didn't want to cry over the Hallmark Hall of Fame special that was coming on. I turned to MSNBC which has lots of true crime documentaries at that time. They had one on and it made me cry way more than any Hallmark cheese fest. It scared me away from Canada because, believe it or not, their justice system is way more bleeped up than ours and it's far slower. I recommend that everyone should watch this excellent, compelling, heartbreaking documentary: Dear Zachary. Make sure you're not already depressed or you will be completely devastated. So now I'm looking for a new location for my hut. Alaska is out because of the whole Sarah Palin thing. Any suggestions?